06 September 2009

Dandelions are hard to kill....


And so am I. I just noticed the dandelion growing out of a tree... strange and unexpected... a reminder... a sign. I named my photography business Dandelion Photography many years ago for just that reason... dandelions are resilient, persistent, and hardy. You can chemicalize, stomp, dig up, cut down the mighty dandelion as much as you want... but it comes back just as strong or stronger every year... you can eat the greens... a little bitter but tasty none the less... and the most delightful wine can be made from the flower... Something to think about for a plant most consider to be a weed and thus useless and worthy only of being destroyed... the channel is clear and open... I am in motion again and my business is still going strong after all these years ... sure things could be better... things could always be better... I'll take all the better I can get... perhaps, I could shoot our way out of here... hummmmmm.

31 August 2009

Yeah, It's Kinda Like That...


It feels like Fall outside... Teresa and I have even taken to shutting the windows at night to keep the cold out. I went to take Lily out for a walk one day and found this small bird on the path. I try not to read too much into oddities like this, especially here. But I couldn't help but to wonder how something "as free as a bird"... like a bird... winds up on his ass like this... what went wrong? And how does it get fixed? Or does it get fixed... maybe that is the lesson nature has to teach us... some things can not be fixed or made "right"... Don't even try... I think that may be true of a very small percentage of things in the universe, but I think the rest of the fixing and "righting" is up to us... if we choose to do it... This gets to be a strange time of year for me... and bonus I have way too much time on my hands for my own good... perhaps I need a hobby... or maybe just a job... hummmmm.

30 August 2009

RESET button...




Ok. Right brain... Left brain... Universal mind... set... go... it is now time for a RESET - TING of my, of (our) paradigm. An over-haul of the current... current of thinking. FREE free association... opportunity challenge new ideas blocked by old ideas rise ing above without notice watch out for vampires or call your mom to warn of impending laughter on site with blankets and cookies pinch the girls with the long dark hair and the cheery wind blown smiles it makes no sense and makes us no cents incensed to action without the map or the guide dance until you feel it you'll know what he meant no flowers no rubber gloves or pink socks with bunnies withdraw the questions of authority and you'll know if you were right left or wrong.... it doesn't make sense... but maybe it does... paradigm shift in 3-2-1...

29 August 2009

Can I Get a Witness...?!


Ok, so remember when I said that I am done keeping a low profile...? This morning a man with a bible showed up on my door step... that never happens... bible or not... we don't really get visitors... at least no one that we actually want to hang out with.... (That's hint Amber if you're reading this...) Anyway, I saw the "Awake" Magazine in his hand before he even got to the screen door... which by the way, I didn't even bother to open. Jehovah's Witnesses... right here in Brayton... the guy was nice enough.. he had his very young son with him. He says, " We're just out talking to people today, about life, the world, and we're reading scripture with people..." I started by thanking him for his visit and then told him the truth... "We're Pagan, both of us... we're Witches.." I was about to offer him a Google search to look up what that meant when he said, "I know what Witches are, I knew some when I lived in Oregon" Then I said, "That's a little ironic, we have been thinking a lot about visiting and maybe moving to Oregon..." After a few words about finding people in town who were interested in the bible, he thanked me for my time and went on his way... It felt really good to finally say that to someone around here. There are some folks we have told... but only a couple that really matter. It is not like we have been in the broom closet - at least not on purpose - I think that we thought that we'd get settled... make some real friends... as in people that we could really trust...that one bit us in the ass. There be predators out here... If we were to click our collective heels together I am not exactly sure where we'd end up... probably back in Iowa City... I mean, there's no place like home... it's true... there isn't... But his is definitely not home... but it's a good way station... we are grateful for that... it could always be worse... always, but in all honesty the journey is really just now beginning... There is a new plan in the planning... this weekend in fact. I have been praying to Lord Ganesha to remove all obstacles and destroy our enemies - both within and without - we should be seeing some sparks any minute now eh?

A**holes in Paradice


Ok, so I'm a pretty easy going person in most situations... the other day there was like a birthday party or something in the park our house faces.... there were a lot of cars as the normal bicyclists showed up... to use the bike path. Ok, next to our house is the Water Dept. for the city of Brayton and next to that is a road that loops around to the post office and some grain storage silos... there is much open space on the road and by the silos thus overflow parking.... yet in spite of that, some jerk-off in a giant SUV chose to park in my driveway - right next to my truck which is clearly pulled back to the garage... I came out on to the front steps and said nicely..." Hey, that's not part of the park... that's my driveway..." The guy and his wife both looked at me with this kind of so what look and said, "Yeah, Ok..." and kept walking.... Honestly I couldn't have cared less at that point... until they just ignored me... I hate how so many people who drive giant SUV's seem to function with this weird sense of "entitlement" - meaning, "I'll drive like an a**hole and park where I want... what are you going to do about it...?" I used to drive transit buses... the typical city bus is 40' long and weighs about 16.5 tons... you'd think that someone with half a brain - even someone in an SUV would opt not to cut off the one vehicle that could knock them into the middle of the next week... You'd be wrong... anyway, the only way we got the A**hole to move was to be seen by him writing down his plate number and taking pictures of the offending SUV - I'd squeezed off about a half dozen frames when I saw him go for his keys.... What's with that? Why the overt dickishness? I have tried my level best to keep a low - very low, profile. I just know that if I parked in anyone's driveway around here I get asked with a shot gun or behind door number 2 - the local Authority would be all over me... . Teresa said " It's because you're black that they just ignored you..." The conversation then went to..."If you'd been an old white guy saying get out of my driveway... they wouldn't have even hesitated to move the SUV....." I don't go looking for spooks in that sense, but sadly I think that she is right... could this place blow any harder... sorry, rhetorical question... I don't even want to know the answer to that.....

28 August 2009


I almost forgot about this little gem... is it a bad thing... something to worry about, if your neighbors suddenly start sporting confederate flags on the 4th of July...? Just wondering... I don't scare easy... so I'm not worried... it's just really funny that's all... How people define their world to others... I have been thinking about getting myself a Jolly Roger to fly proudly... Arrrrrrrr!!! or maybe just a big black flag... hummmm, I wonder how that would be received... now, there'd be a blog for ya....

26 August 2009

Upbeat or Beat-up....


I am a fairly upbeat person - I try to see the good in people, places, and situations around me. I try. This "seeing of good" has been a lot more challenging than usual of late. Teresa and I are still quite under-employed which is slowing down forward momentum to a near crawl... don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to a good crawl once in a while... especially after some good - really good - drinking... but this feels like stuck in the mud. The constant spinning of tires and crawling through muck... while an awesome exercise in the building of character... is both frustrating and time consuming... and definitely not yielding the desired result - which simply put - is a consistent flow of income that allows for some other choices to be made. Choices that are proactive instead of reactive. That would mean launching our businesses and working for ourselves instead of looking for "jobs" that are ultimately neither satisfying or long term profitable. It seems that everything in our experience here has been about the short term fix... which rounds back to more of the same - over and over and over and over again. I get it, I think I understand how people here stay here for decades and ultimately have nothing more to show for it than a really shiny Ford F-150 in the driveway with a mini-van sitting next to it in front a cookie cutter house that looks like every other house on the block and is equally mortgage to the max. Ultimately these people have jobs they hate but can never quit (or be fired from) lest they risk losing everything they have worked for their whole lives... including their good name and status in the community... this is fine, I've go no issue with people here and what they want... if that is all you want out of the infinite possibilities that life has to offer... then party on and have it... I guess I want more... a lot more... I may not just need the special menu... I may need a whole new restaurant...
Of Night & Fog... Dense ness... Heavy ness makes it difficult to think or walk the path without getting wet will we ever find the light in this darkness?

12 August 2009

Breaking Up is Hard to Do...

Oh Dear Brayton, If it were possible... I would text dump you right now. I would say that "It's not you - it's me" And yes dear, that'd be a lie because it is you. I came to you with enthusiasm and boundless energy looking to build our lives anew - to launch a great adventure from your shores... and Ok, I was, perhaps, a little naive... a little too stary eyed... I didn't know you had such problems... such deep emotional and socio-political problems. You hate yourself and you don't even know it. Sad really... You are stuck in the past and fear anything or anyone who is different. Different is bad... threatening to you in fact. You fear change... Your mind is closed and you refuse to evolve. I can't even be friends with you after what I have learned. I will continue to blog regardless, I have to. It's what I do, but there will be little mention of you. Don't get me wrong Brayton... have had some good times here. Arguably, some times better than other times... we have also had some bad times(and some worse than bad times), and also some very creepy times as well. But alas, our relationship here has become stagnant and boring. You're moody and self absorbed all the time. All the time. You barely talk to me, and it's like you're embarrassed to be seen with me or something. I'm done with you Brayton - This is really Goodbye - I am deleting you from my phone... and removing you from my email address book. I'll send your stuff back in a box. I am packing my bags and I'll leave my key on the way out. It's been real. But one thing Brayton... You should get some help. No, seriously, please get help before it's too late....... Regards, Nathan(blue)

30 July 2009

Hi All... My computer is down temporarily due to a malware infection... So I am posting from my phone for now. Beware of System Security 2009!

17 July 2009

Today has been in frustratingly slow motion... I feel like a vase in a still-life... wtf?

03 July 2009

Hi again... It is dreary and overcast... Nap weather... So I figured out that the blog will take a text but not a pic msg... Bummer...

23 June 2009

I am now able to send text to my blog... This is a test.

11 June 2009

Where Am I?

Proof again that no one is reading this. I have not posted in more than a month... I suppose that not telling anyone that this is here might have something to do with the lack of traffic. Hummmm. We are still here, alive and kicking... clawing actually in beautiful sunny always smiling Brayton, IA. Many ups and downs... many. It is now nearly the Summer Solstice... but before we even get there - Anya's birthday is this weekend. She will be 4. Wow. Time flys... I remember her birth as if it were last weekend. And now she is walking (running actually), talking, and swinging from things... a personality is emerging that is full of light and curiousity. I know that everyone says that their kid is smart... but she really is... you can see the little wheels turning as she problem solves on the playground and in the livingroom. It is very exciting to watch my daughter as she learns new things... because I learn as well by watching her discover her world and how it works.
My goal this week is to not get hosed by my landlord - who sprung on me at the last minute that mowing the lawn was "my responsibility" - I had asked about mowing back in March - and got told by the maintenance guy not to worry about it. His mower sat broke for a while. Like knee high grass a while. I emailed the landlord and said no prob... Next time I go back to Iowa City I would be happy to bring mine back and do the mowing. Somehow she missed that line in my email. So, in the meantime... someone was hired to mow... and now I am paying for it via. cheap labor by installing windows. (?!) Something got way lost in the translation... but whatever. I'll do the stinking windows and just let it go. It is easier that way.... path of least resistance... I'll just let it be something else...
It seems like southwest Iowa is in some kind of psychic slo-mo - which I am only now coming to understand. The only way I can think to describe it is... did you ever get your cat wet... you know how they suddenly seem like they are very very heavy and can't move until they shake off all the water? Yeah, it's kind of like that... except add one step forward and two steps back. I get it now... I understand how people get stuck here and never leave. Never. There might need to be some Vikings invoked around here... which should be easy considering the number of Danes living here... !
Coming, there are updates with pictures. We are going to NE to celebrate Anya's BD - we have friends who are helping us do a party in Lincoln. Fun, there will be belly dancing and fire spinning. : )

22 April 2009

Where I live is a place called Brayton, IA - according to
http://iowa.hometownlocator.com/ia/audubon/brayton.cfm :

Brayton is a populated place located in Audubon County at latitude 41.544 and longitude -94.924. The elevation is 1,207 feet. Brayton appears on the Exira West U.S. Geological Survey Map. Audubon County is in the Central time zone (GMT -6). Observes DST? Yes.

Brayton had a population of 145 with 73 housing units; a land area land area of 0.62 sq. miles; a water area of 0 sq. miles; and a population density of 235.43 people per sq. mile for Census 2000. Updated Census Estimates for all incorporated places in Iowa.

So, basically Brayton is not so much a "town", as it is a "populated place" - kinda funny.

01 April 2009

Talking About the Weather (again)

Spring was apparently just teasing us. I mean, it's not January in Iowa cold, but... it is cold enough that I dug out some long johns to put on to go shopping. I think I just need to have warm happen now. The wind yesterday was so intense that the part of the roof that covers the porch came apart and blew off. There was a section of flashing and small chunks of shingles all over the side yard, in front of the garage, and slightly past the water plant next door. Not surprising I suppose, but I am pretty sure that Brayton Place would not have survived if the winds had gotten much higher. Here I am talking about the weather again... very midwest no? On the one hand I know that there are a lot of people here who farm, or are affected by farming in some way... That explains (partly) the fascination with conversations about the weather. There's that, but I wonder sometimes if talking about the weather is a way to stay with something that is common (between those conversing) yet firmly on the surface... there are a lot of people here who know a lot about their neighbors and fellow townies... my friend at the post office for example, she's the Postmaster of a really small town... which means, by virtue of doing her job she knows whose getting what mail and when. She hears things because the post office is somewhat central to this place... it's not a bar by any means, but I have walked in on hushed conversations and caught people emotionally relieving themselves at the counter. But does my postmaster friend really "know" the people that live here? I really have no idea. I am not sure that I would want that resposibility and information stomping about inside my head. I keep hoping that this whole thing, this whole Brayton experience, is a sindicated episode of "Northern Exposure" and we'll just wake up in Alaska or something. Nice carabou. It needs to get warm and stay warm now.....

20 March 2009

From Today On...

I learned something new from Joe Vitale today.
It goes like this: I'm sorry, please forgive me. Thank You. I Love You.
It is a simple conversation with the Divine.
I like when things are simple.
I have been spending a lot of time working on myself. A lot of time.
We (Teresa and I) have been working diligently to get our metaphysical shit together.
And like any process, that takes time and effort. There have been many ups, downs, and distractions.
I have much to blog about, or not. I am not even sure where I would start.
I do know this. I feel very clear. Very Clear. And the universe is in motion around us.
We must expand in order to be in alignment with our universe. Expand and expand some more.
Perfect alignment is the goal and destination.

23 February 2009

Life Get's in the Way

Life gets in the way of documenting life...?! Yeah, it's true. I now have a small backlog of stuff that I want to add here. Stories and pictures soon to come. But in the meantime, just checking in - with myself mostly. We are in the latter part of February and things in my life are chugging along at a just beginning to thaw pace. Work is slowly starting to come my way. New people. New experiences appear as a train in the distance. I am waiting at the station. Quite patiently, I am waiting. I know that when the train finally gets here that everyone rides. I am looking forward to the ride as it will be a good one, with a good time had by all. Anyway, Life Get's in the Way of the documentation of Life... sometimes that isn't a bad thing. The sun is out and it is slightly warmer than it was yesterday... I am smiling and waiting at the station.

10 February 2009

Tuesday Darts

Darts will be throw tonight at Big Dawgs in Atlantic. I am sub to the sub to the sub or something like that... I may actually just be cheering and eating popcorn. My favorite thing to do at the bar is people watching, hours of entertainment. I will admit to feeling like that scrawny kid sitting on the bench hoping that the coach will look his way. In time I suppose. I am having a pretty fantastic day so far though. I went into Channel 10 to transfer more Super8 film to video - came home and did some body art with Teresa... After eating a small mound of spaghetti a piece we did some drawing with make-up pencils and lipstick on each other... we laughed a lot, I feel quite blessed to be in a relationship with someone where there is joy and laughter. It makes even a really bad day not so bad after all.

09 February 2009

Dropping Cards with Teresa and Kit




I dropped some cards with Kit (the fuzzy one below) the other day... she reads the cards like a pro... because she is... actually Teresa helped... we more or less read for each other. Part practice, and part because we actually needed to figure some things out... I love working with the cards. My current favorite deck is something called The Cosmic Tribe Deck. It would be like if you went to a Rainbow Gathering and Burning Man Gathering and said I want you, you, you, you, to be on my cards. There are three Lovers cards... two women, two men, and a woman and man... reminding one that love comes in many different persuasions. Anyway, we got some much needed answers on emotions and plans in progress and how to proceed. I have no problem reading for myself and interpretting the results - I get a little less than confident when reading for others however... I am working on that. Teresa is really good at connecting the dots of symbolism and meaning in the cards... she takes that and works intuitively from there... she will use several decks at once. Teresa will do a reading and in the end there will be 20 or 30 cards from different decks on the table - and it will all make sense... in an AH-HA kind of way. I like runes, a lot. I am also trying to find some non-traditional things to use for divination. I was thinking of making a series of photographs that are fairly abstract... I figure if something as abstract as tea leaves can be read... why not photographs.

Darts of Destiny


So, Teresa and I at the asking of Chris and Leigh have taken up darts. Actually they didn't really have to ask. The hurling of sharp objects across the room towards a tiny red dot for fun and profit... or at least an enthusiastic "Ata Boy!"... just add beer and let the good times roll... the rules and the math are a little tricky... but I know we'll get the hang of it soon. There has been much practice and many new holes in the wall. In the picture here we realized that the board may have been placed too low for Teresa. Six or seven inches up should do trick... Just kidding... we're still working on the whole aim thing .... but hey, nice cluster.

02 February 2009

HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY!!! Ok, I am not so so much about the Groundhog... but it is 2 February... which to some of us is also known as Candlemas, Imbolc, or in Celtic traditions Bridgit's Day. Bridgit is the Goddess of the Forge and Fire, also of Creativity... It is the beginning of the end of winter... a time to begin proparing for Spring. It is a time for reflection as the days now begin to get longer and hopefully warmer. Teresa and I did a small candle reflection to release some unwanted personal and psychic clutter... and just spent time talking about what we hope to accomplish as Spring approaches. And today there will be poetry.

26 January 2009

Brayton Life - Welcome to Brayton, IA


Welcome to Brayton, IA population 145 give or take depending on who you ask. My name is Nathan and I moved here about two months ago with my fiancee' Teresa to be closer to where my daughter Anya lives. Brayton is north of I-80 at exit 60. Why Brayton? Why not? I have discovered in my travels that any place that you put yourself for long enough can be home... I think that home in an attitude and a feeling as much a location. Home and community are tightly woven together for me. I am very outgoing and I love to meet and talk to new people. I hold a BA in Communication Studies with a minor in Theater Arts (Technical Theater) from the University of Iowa in Iowa City. I am a filmmaker and work as a professional photographer. The unifying element in all that I do artistically (photography, film, writing, theater) is people - it takes people to make a community and the same people to keep that community strong and vital. I really believe that. With this blog/vlog, I will share my experiences, adventures, and observations here in this tiny throbbing metropolis. Teresa and I have already made a few friends. The very first people that we met here is the fellow who does maintenance for this house (affectionately know here out as Brayton Place) and his girlfriend Leigh. Chris, is part-time Guru (he is very wise) and full-time Satellite Installer and definitely one of the kindest people I have ever met. Leigh is also very wise and has a sense of humor that'd throw a man straight out the nearest window. We hang out with them a lot. We have also met the Post Master, a guy named Rick who always walks his dog at midnight, the guy from the water department (which we live next door to), and the City Clerk... So the adventure has begun - let it rip. More later. Going to close here for now... will be adding pictures as well... also check out the vlog on YouTube - there is a link to the left.... see ya.