I almost forgot about this little gem... is it a bad thing... something to worry about, if your neighbors suddenly start sporting confederate flags on the 4th of July...? Just wondering... I don't scare easy... so I'm not worried... it's just really funny that's all... How people define their world to others... I have been thinking about getting myself a Jolly Roger to fly proudly... Arrrrrrrr!!! or maybe just a big black flag... hummmm, I wonder how that would be received... now, there'd be a blog for ya....

Upbeat or Beat-up....

I am a fairly upbeat person - I try to see the good in people, places, and situations around me. I try. This "seeing of good" has been a lot more challenging than usual of late. Teresa and I are still quite under-employed which is slowing down forward momentum to a near crawl... don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to a good crawl once in a while... especially after some good - really good - drinking... but this feels like stuck in the mud. The constant spinning of tires and crawling through muck... while an awesome exercise in the building of character... is both frustrating and time consuming... and definitely not yielding the desired result - which simply put - is a consistent flow of income that allows for some other choices to be made. Choices that are proactive instead of reactive. That would mean launching our businesses and working for ourselves instead of looking for "jobs" that are ultimately neither satisfying or long term profitable. It seems that everything in our experience here has been about the short term fix... which rounds back to more of the same - over and over and over and over again. I get it, I think I understand how people here stay here for decades and ultimately have nothing more to show for it than a really shiny Ford F-150 in the driveway with a mini-van sitting next to it in front a cookie cutter house that looks like every other house on the block and is equally mortgage to the max. Ultimately these people have jobs they hate but can never quit (or be fired from) lest they risk losing everything they have worked for their whole lives... including their good name and status in the community... this is fine, I've go no issue with people here and what they want... if that is all you want out of the infinite possibilities that life has to offer... then party on and have it... I guess I want more... a lot more... I may not just need the special menu... I may need a whole new restaurant...

Of Night & Fog... Dense ness... Heavy ness makes it difficult to think or walk the path without getting wet will we ever find the light in this darkness?

Breaking Up is Hard to Do...

Oh Dear Brayton, If it were possible... I would text dump you right now. I would say that "It's not you - it's me" And yes dear, that'd be a lie because it is you. I came to you with enthusiasm and boundless energy looking to build our lives anew - to launch a great adventure from your shores... and Ok, I was, perhaps, a little naive... a little too stary eyed... I didn't know you had such problems... such deep emotional and socio-political problems. You hate yourself and you don't even know it. Sad really... You are stuck in the past and fear anything or anyone who is different. Different is bad... threatening to you in fact. You fear change... Your mind is closed and you refuse to evolve. I can't even be friends with you after what I have learned. I will continue to blog regardless, I have to. It's what I do, but there will be little mention of you. Don't get me wrong Brayton... have had some good times here. Arguably, some times better than other times... we have also had some bad times(and some worse than bad times), and also some very creepy times as well. But alas, our relationship here has become stagnant and boring. You're moody and self absorbed all the time. All the time. You barely talk to me, and it's like you're embarrassed to be seen with me or something. I'm done with you Brayton - This is really Goodbye - I am deleting you from my phone... and removing you from my email address book. I'll send your stuff back in a box. I am packing my bags and I'll leave my key on the way out. It's been real. But one thing Brayton... You should get some help. No, seriously, please get help before it's too late....... Regards, Nathan(blue)

Hi All... My computer is down temporarily due to a malware infection... So I am posting from my phone for now. Beware of System Security 2009!

Today has been in frustratingly slow motion... I feel like a vase in a still-life... wtf?

Hi again... It is dreary and overcast... Nap weather... So I figured out that the blog will take a text but not a pic msg... Bummer...